Okay, despite the title of this post, this has literally nothing to do with cookies, and I am honestly going to ramble and vent for the next little bit.
I'd like to start this out by saying a) I very rarely vent about other people on the internet.. which means I must be pretty annoyed and b) moms! leave each alone!!!!! SHEESH.
So here's what happened. I was shopping yesterday, and the owner of the store was one of those sort of pushy and overly talkative ladies, who I don't usually mind too much because I can sometimes be overly talkative, too. Anyway, so I am finally checking out and we have the following conversation.
Lady: So do you work in the area?
Me: No I'm a mom to two and I'm in school full-time, too.
Lady: See, I never got that, why go back to school and have kids. I mean your focus is here with your kids, and then you have to change your whole focus? I mean, I don't know.
Me: (kind of perplexed) Hm, yea it can be challenging.
Lady: Like people used to give me a hard time because I wasn't in the store much while I had my kids. And this lady came in, and she was a great day care provider. And she said it best, she said, "You only have one go around with your kids." So I just don't know why anyone would choose to do school and have kids. So your sure about the dress? It's really great for three seasons blah blah blah......."
And then I mumbled and grumbled my way out of the store, something like: "Well, my husband's home when I'm gone..soo... just two days...." basically defending myself to this obnoxious lady for no reason whatsoever.
I wish I would've told this lady to freaking mind her own business!
I wish I would've told her that, maybe unbeknownst to her, not all families can afford to have someone stay at home. Maybe if we were more financially secure at this point in our lives, I would not finish out my education. But that is simply not the case, and I know that to be true for a lot of couples. I would never judge a mom who wants to go to school or needs to work to make a living to support her family. Moms work part-time. Moms work from home. Moms work full-time. Moms stay at home. And they are all great moms! Why is this so hard for people to grasp??? I literally don't understand the whole "mommy war" issue.
And then I would've told her that I'm 100% positive that being out of the house for two days of the week makes me about a trillion times happier when I AM at home. I will honestly say that I've struggled (a lot at times.. particularly in the winter) with being a stay-at-home-mom. I love spending all this time with the girls, and if I had to do it all again, I would, but it is no easy task. I am the type of person who easily gets cabin fever. I'm antsy. I'm not used to routine or staying in one place. Play dates, story time, pool time, errands... all great ways to get out of the house. But in terms of emotional stability, those were barely enough to keep me going.
I once had a long talk with my OB.. I think about breast feeding or something and going to school and how it would all come together. I will always, always remember what she told me. "The best thing you can do for your kids is to be happy yourself. And what's right for someone else, may not be the right thing for you."
So yes, lady, I agree. I only get one "go around" with my kids. And I also only get one life to be me. I'm being the best mom I can be because of what I do, not in spite of it. There's no 'cookie cutter' way to be a perfect mom. There's no such thing as being a perfect mom. So what does everyone have to get on everyone else' case? It irks me to no end. Yes, I go to school, and yes GOD FORBID, I am away from my children for two days of every week. But the days I'm home, I smile more, I laugh more, and I enjoy more.
And finally, I'd remind this lady that not everyone has a cushy job owning a successful business where everything is absurdly overpriced.
The end.
