Freedom!

Today we had a doctor's appointment at 10 o'clock. There was a lot of anticipation building up to this appointment. Would I get taken off bed rest? Would I be allowed to at least get up and move around our place? Or would nothing change whatsoever?

And the verdict was....

NO MORE BED REST!

This doesn't mean that I can just start doing everything I want right away. I am supposed to ease into normal activity. So today I did some light cleaning and organized some clothes. The best part was when I went and got Lyla from her crib. I haven't been allowed to lift her or pick her up for the past 4 weeks! I don't know who was more excited, me or her! I got a big hug when I picked her up, and it was sooo nice. Afterwards she said, "Mommy's happy!" I am happy indeed! I can only imagine how it must feel for someone who has been on bed rest for months and months!

At this point, I'm still on my medication. Our doctor wants me on it until Sunday when we'll be at 37 weeks.. full term! That is, if we make it, of course. For some reason Erik thinks baby will come on Saturday. We will see!

Now I want to take these remaining days or weeks to appreciate lots of Lyla time before our new addition comes. I feel so lucky to have been able to be a stay-at-home-mom these past two years and have had so much time to be with Lyla and watch her grow. I have heard that the hardest part of having a second child is feeling sad or guilty about spending less time with the older child. I have also heard the opposite... that moms feel upset that they can't give their second as much attention as they gave their first. I don't know how it's going to feel. It will be an adjustment, but I am excited more than anything. I know our little girls will grow to be best friends :)! Before we know it they will be wreaking havoc on us together!

Enjoying some snuggle time with my biggest girl. She still just loves to watch us write!

The Little Things

It's all about enjoying the little things. Like when Lyla comes home from the store with Daddy or a visit with Grandma and Grandpa, she always walks in the door saying, "We're home mommy!" Or the look on Lyla's face when I get to sit with her at meals. She says, "Sit by you awhile... back to couch!" Or all the hugs, kisses and eskimo kisses I get throughout the day.

Or like the time I was feeling gross, unshowered and lazy in my usual bed rest attire... Sweats. Lyla came over to me and said that I "look fancy!" Thanks honey!

Or how today, she brought Erik a "D" for daddy from her letter puzzle. Mommy got an "M" and she even brought over a "__" for the baby and put it on my belly.

Or listening to Lyla sing throughout the day.. about everything! She is so full of joy, how can she NOT brighten your day?

Or watching Lyla's face as Erik builds a card castle.. and watching her knock it all down!

In pregnancy news, we are 36 weeks tomorrow. I honestly did NOT think we would make it this far, but I am so relieved that we did. At this point in our pregnancy, our doctor will not try to keep baby in if she decides to come out. We are so, so, so excited to meet our baby girl. Of course, we'd love to make it to full term (37 weeks) but at this point, we are still in really good shape, especially compared to when we first went into the hospital...32 weeks and 3 days. Excitement has taken over the anxiety, and we just can't wait to meet our precious baby girl. At this point, all we can do is wait! And build card castles.

35 Weeks

Sunday we hit 35 weeks! Tomorrow will mark three weeks since we first went into the hospital. That's three weeks of growing and developing for our baby girl! I hope she can sit tight even longer, but I would feel much more confident now if we ended up going into labor. Some babies born at this gestational age spend little time in the NICU, if at all, so that is a comforting thought. 

Honestly, I'm just so happy to still be pregnant! When they let me go from the hospital, still contracting away, I was sure we'd be back in the next week to have our baby. But here we are! It's amazing!

We snapped some quick 35 week pictures the other day! I think it's been awhile since we've done any belly shots! 

2 Weeks Down

It's hard to believe that two weeks have already gone by since I left the hospital. That's two more weeks of growing and developing for our baby girl! Today we are 34 weeks and 5 days. Every day that goes by, I breathe a little easier!

Bed rest seems to be both easier and harder as time goes on.

Easier, because I feel RESTED! Obviously, I am laying down pretty much all day, how else would I feel? Most of the side effects of the medication have gone away, so I don't have to lie around feeling sick all day. I have a healthy appetite again. And many of the aches and pains that plagued me during this pregnancy (maybe a sign to slow down?) are pretty much gone!

Harder, because as I feel better, I want to DO more. I catch myself thinking... "Since I can sit for meals, it's probably okay if I sit and fold this laundry..." or "I could probably just clean up these couple of things..." Things that are starting to look like harmless activity.  As we get further along in our pregnancy, I feel less panicked and more relaxed. But I don't want to feel TOO relaxed, I don't want to blow off doctor's orders. So every time I get the urge to do anything I am not supposed to be doing, I just think of our beautiful, growing baby who has much more growing to do. And I think of my Dr. saying, "Sometimes resting makes all the difference."

So here I lay, all the day long, up for bathroom breaks and food.

My doctor said we'll talk again about lifting some of the restrictions at 36 weeks (if baby hasn't come by then, of course). I'm not too hopeful, since she said the same thing about 34 weeks! Unfortunately I had dilated a bit more at my 34 week appointment, so she was not interesting in letting me be up and about at all.

Fortunately, though the days seem to be crawling by, the weeks are going fast!

I'm trying not to set lofty goals. I want to be happy and proud of the weeks we've made it, and not disappointed about the weeks we didn't make it.... But obviously, I would be very happy if we could make it to 36 weeks!

Alrighty, off to another day of R&R!

A Glimpse of Baby!

So today I got to leave the house ... and go to the doctor!! Due to all the recent difficulties and to the fact that I measured a bit small, my doctor decided to have me come back later in the day for an ultrasound! 

Here is our baby girl!! Isn't she sweet?!

I've been so tense, so anxious these past couple of weeks. Things haven't been exactly easy emotionally. Any contraction could be the start of labor. Any twinge could be an indicator that something is wrong.

So I cried many, many tears of joy and relief at the sight of our healthy, beautiful, baby girl! Everything about her is just perfect, and our ultrasound technician even helped us see her HAIR floating around in there! 

This is just a reminder of why, as a pregnant mommy, we do everything that we do. Why we give up some of our favorite things, why we deal with the day-to-day discomforts that might come about, why we get up to go to the bathroom every hour of the night, why we spend days in the hospital, and then many more days glued to the couch! It's for our babies, so that they can have the best beginning in this world that we can give them.

Despite everything happening on the outside, our baby is still thriving and growing on the inside. We could not be more happy or more thankful. 

We love you baby!! Hang tight, just a little longer!

Bringing Back Newborn!

So yesterday I got out Lyla's first bin of clothes I had packed away, containing all the itty-bittiest baby clothes... size newborn!  As you probably could guess, I am getting things ready for BABY DOS' arrival. It feels like every time I turn around, the day is 3 weeks closer. How is that happening?!?!? We have only 12 weeks left! Maybe even less! Maybe more, although I don't like to think about that. 40 weeks is plenty, thank you!

Anyway, I was feeling really nostalgic pulling out all the newborn outfits. And Erik and I were both in shock at how small they looked. We couldn't believe that our giant almost-2 year old wore that teeny, tiny dress home from the hospital. We are always saying, "Remember how small Lyla used to be?" Well now here is the tangible evidence of how small she REALLY was and how much she has grown. It really brought us down memory lane... "This was Lyla's coming home outfit." "This was my favorite sleeper!" "Lyla was wearing this when she first laughed!" As a parent, there is always this heartachy, bittersweet feeling about your babies growing up.... one stage is gone and past and you know you'll miss it SO much (except for the Terrible Two's I'm guessing..), but there is even more to look forward to as they grow up.

So while it was a bit sad holding that evidence of time passing... I couldn't help but think about how much fun we are having now and how proud I am of my little baby, now growing up so fast!

And I just kept getting more and more excited about the big day, meeting our new daughter! There are so many outfits I just can't wait to get out and use again! We also bought her some new clothes of her own and a coming home outfit. She really doesn't need a lot, with an older sister and three older girl cousins, but it's nice for her to have some stuff to call her own! Not that she'll really notice now haha.

Lyla is getting really excited about the baby! I noticed that if I call her "sissy" she gets more excited than if I'm talking about her new "sister." Wording is everything! Lately, she likes to lift up my shirt and throw a ball to my belly. She says she and baby are playing catch! It's so sweet! She also got to feel the baby kick the other day! So excited, so in love with our little family!

27 Weeks!

I think I have to check my planner to see how far along I am every couple of days. It's so funny because with Lyla, I always knew exactly how far along I was and what was happening with the baby in each week. I guess there just really isn't that much time to sit around thinking about how many weeks I am! And time is literally FLYING so that makes it really hard to keep track!

Without further ado, some bump pictures!

And some Lyla funnies/cutesies from the week!

1. Lyla and Erik were pretending to be bears one day, crawling around on the ground together. Now Lyla likes to be called "Bear," "Little Bear," or "Baby Bear." Mommy is also a little bear, and daddy is BIG BEAR! GR!!!!! Sometimes I'll ask her a question, and she'll say "Bear." And then I have to re-ask the question but address her as "Bear" instead of Lyla! Today she also woke up from nap and I heard her in her bed going "Grrr, grrr, grrr."

2. Lyla has been much more excited about the baby! She "reads" to the baby and sings to the baby all the time! She mostly sings "A B C D, A B C D, A B C D!" 

3. Today we were at the park by our house when Erik called to say he'd be home in five minutes. I told Lyla that we had to go so we could see Daddy! And she said... "Daddy home now!" And then in a whisper, "Oh my! Oh my!" It was so cute! 

Big Mommy Lessons

As we are slowly coming up on the arrival of our baby girl, I have been doing a lot of reflecting on the things that I've learned as a mom. What will I do differently in round two? What wisdoms have I gained that will make this time easier?

First big lesson is this: There is not a wrong or right way to be a mom.

I've found that being a parent can be laden with insecurity. There is always someone who will say that you're doing it wrong, you're not doing enough. Why else would "mommy wars" get so out of control? Why do moms have to be in each other's business anyway? Pretty much for every decision you make, there is someone out there saying that it's wrong.  So many moms are naturally on the defensive about certain issues, and others are almost militant about their parenting choices. Hence mommy wars. Breastfeeding v. formula feeding, circumcising or not, vaccinating v. delayed vaccinations v. not vaccinated, homeschool v. public school, cloth diapering v. disposables, Baby Wise v. Dr. Sears... the list goes on.

Before Lyla was born, I read and read and read and read because I wanted to be the BEST mom and do everything the 'right way.'  I had zero real life experience with babies and felt that the only way to figure it all out was to study up. The result of all this reading was general confusion on a lot of parenting decisions and some insecurity when Lyla was born. Although I pretty much decided to ditch the books and magazines, I still felt that nagging sensation in the back of my mind.. "You're not doing good enough.. You're doing this wrong."  It was overwhelming (baby blues).

But I eventually realized that there is no RIGHT way to do anything. There is only the best way for me and my family. Who cares what so-and-so next door is doing or those people in that magazine you'll never meet or see in your life. I felt so much more relaxed and at ease and it has really shaped my outlook as a parent. In that way, I hope things can be easier this time around. We are the best parents we can be, and I know that now.

Second big lesson: You don't have to get everything done every day.

This one is pretty self explanatory. Prioritize. Certain things can wait. Sometimes it's better to just have a day of one-on-one baby time and clean later. Memories aren't made doing the dishes!

Not a big lesson, but this is one thing I'll do different... Don't cut your baby's bangs! They were getting in her face so we chopped them off. Now we wish we just let them grow out because they are STILL getting in her face! We'll let the next baby's take their natural course.